From Being Over 300 Pounds and Invisible, To Being Visible

One of the best parts I thought of being overweight was people not wanting to be near you, not being drawn to your personality, or your looks. When out in public I could of been invisible it was like I was wearing a invisible cloak where no one could see me. The truth was people were as horrified as I was in my size, and they steered clear of me. If you have never had a weight problem you may think I am exaggerating, but the truth is when you are large and obese people do not tend to gravitate towards you, instead they pretend you do not exist.

Usually what happens is either they snicker and laugh about you behind your back, or for those courageous assholes they snicker and mock you loudly enough so you can hear it. But one of the things I used or thought I liked was being invisible. By being invisible I didn’t have to worry about what others thought of me, or how they perceived me. Never once would I ever have to worry about a cute guy flirting with me or someone engaging in conversation with me, instead the majority of the world just looked away and ignored me. By doing this it only allowed me to stay in my self destructive little bubble I had created.

The hard part was adjusting to life after losing a large amount weight, because not only did my personality change and I gained self confidence, but the world around me changed to. Now I was not the overweight obese woman in the corner, I was the loud, funny, vocal redhead in the center of the room. While my I love my new found freedom and my personality finally shining through, I still find myself out in public and feeling like that same obese woman. Where instead of holding my head high and making eye contact with people and smiling, I still find myself looking at the ground trying to avoid all eye contact. Let alone when people flirt with me, this is such a new experience for me that I still find myself saying “Are they flirting with me?”.

It is funny how we have created this lonely world for ourselves, and when we finally start to break free of cocoon it is still hard to spread your wings and be free.

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About Angie

Single Mom of two girls on a journey to get healthy by losing weight and learning to love herself again!

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