The Pitfalls of Dating After Gastric Bypass

indexSo one of the things I am known for is being brutally honest in my blog. So why change now lol. As most of you know I have been a relationship with my guy Larry for over seven months now and for the most part things have been going awesome. But along with the relationship and getting to know each other comes all the complicated stuff like learning each others personalities and traits, wants and needs, likes and dislikes and trying to mesh your two personalities.

This has probably been the hardest part for me, I think for the most part I strived so hard to be on my own for the last five years and to try and be independent and self sufficient then I meet a guy who wants to do everything for me. When I say everything I mean everything he loves to cook, and clean, and open my doors for me, gives me his hand when I go to stand up. Larry is just a true gentleman in every sense of the word. The funny thing is through my entire childhood and most of my marriage this was exactly what I was dreaming of, a man who loved me and would adore me and want to do things for me and then I got it. The problem is I was so use to doing everything on my own that I did not want to give up that control, that one part of my life that I had claimed as my own.

And this had nothing to do with my gastric bypass but more my marriage and the lack of control and stability in it. Couple this with the fact that Larry has OCD issues and I was trying to conform my lifestyle to make him comfortable in his life with me and this caused alot of issues and fights between us. It got to the point that I was trying so hard to make our relationship work, and work out the kinks and issues that I began to loose myself in this process. Besides being a new relationship and wanting to spend as much time with him as possible, I began to put my new life on the back burner like exercising and eating right.

Slowly I could see myself reverting back to my old self meaning that I was trying to change for someone else, and that is not a healthy place that I want to go to. For too many years I worked hard to find Angie, and I was letting my personality and my identity disappear with this new relationship. This is not something I can blame Larry for because if anything he loves me just like I am, for me. From day one he has not wanted me to change, but for whatever reason I am such a people person that I always want to make people happy, and in the meantime I started to feel myself lost and confused.

So now I found myself staring in the mirror and realizing while I love Larry, and I know that I found my soulmate and the love of my life, and the man I am going to marry one day. Also I realize that I need to work on myself, as I always tell everyone I am simply “a work in progress”. This means getting back to working out more, and making sure I am taking my vitamins and eating right.

Part of being in a healthy relationship I am learning is that I have to work on myself in the process, because we both have our demons from past relationships that we have brought into our new relationship. So not only do we have to deal with that, but we also have to learn each other. One of the things I have learned so much in the this last year and half is that even though I had this wonderful surgery, I still have to work on the stuff that got me to that weight to begin with, from past marriage and abuse and more. So follow me on my journey to finding happiness with Larry and getting healthier.

Related posts:

About Angie

Single Mom of two girls on a journey to get healthy by losing weight and learning to love herself again!

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge


 Powered by Max Banner Ads