Finding LOVE after Gastric Bypass

Finding Love After Gastric Bypass

Finding Love After Gastric Bypass

So it has been eleven months since I had surgery and I am getting ready to come upon my one year anniversary and so much has changed in my life. So many changes almost too much to list and for me to even comprehend at this moment, but the biggest change is for the first time in my life I found a healthy relationship and I can say now that I am truly in love.

Getting ready for Six Flags

Getting ready for Six Flags

For over four years I had been separated from my husband and I knew that I did not want to dip my toes into the dating pool until I had gotten myself together first. As many of you know for 23 years I had been married to a very verbally and physically abusive alcoholic and during this marriage I lost myself who I was. So when I started on this journey I knew that I had to find “Angie” and learn to LOVE her before I could ever entertain the idea of finding love for myself.

Now I am not going to sugar coat things and say my new guy Larry was the first guy I dated and we immediately fell in love, because the truth is I had to date few toads to find Mr Right. So it had been over twenty years since I dated and it seemed logical to me to get back on the horse again as they say I needed to turn to online dating. Which as a single woman is a scary prospect to say the very least, because what I found out is 98% of men on dating websites are lieing and hiding things from you, and most of them only care about one thing which is getting into your pants. So during my dating experience I had to date a few men which eat taught me a valuable lesson which was I deserve better.

My Birthday with my Larry

My Birthday with my Larry

Then came Larry, so I met Larry on online dating site Plenty of Fish and at this point I had decided I was almost at the point of of wanting to give up because all the men were dogs up this point. Then out of the blue Larry a guy I had been wanting to talk to for weeks because his profile intrigued me finally contacted me. It was a awesome conversation pretty much I was off that day and did not feel like cooking for one that night and wanted to go out with a girlfriend for dinner but she was busy. So he told me that he too was wanting to go out for dinner but didn’t have a date, and I said really where are you going? That is when he told me he was thinking about sushi, he said the magic words because for months I had been wanting to try sushi so bad but none of my friends were game for trying out sushi. So this really peaked my interest, so I told him “hmm if you were to go for sushi where would you go?” and he told me he was going to go to his favorite restaurant in Ofallon, Il. So at this point I told him “well if you were to go eat sushi, at what time would you be going to eat sushi?” he laughed and told me around 6:00 pm. So being the smart ass I tend to be I texted him back “So if I was to show up at the sushi restaurant at around 6:00 pm maybe we could eat together” and that is how our relationship started no one really asked each other out we just kept it funny and casual. This was the first date I had been on that I was not nervous pulling up to the parking lot, or worried about how I looked I just felt instantly calm and comfortable from the first moment I pulled up. When I pulled into parking lot he was waiting outside for me and what hit me first was his incredible smile and beautiful eyes. As that old saying goes “You had me at hello” certainly proved true with this man.

Within twenty minutes of our conversation it was absolutely freaky how much we had in common from loving all the same movies, to TV shows, music, and at this point we were starting to finish each other sentences. Never in my life had I found someone who made me feel so completely at ease and comfortable from the first moment I met him. We ate sushi and it was wonderful and the best part was he knew I had never had sushi before and he suggested we get the all we can eat just so I could get a variety of sushi and decide which ones I liked. At first I was horrified did this guy not read my profile and understand that I had just had gastric bypass and I can’t not eat very much? And he wants me to do all you can eat, at this moment I started to panic because I didn’t want him to get mad that we ordered all this food and I eat like a bird. But he must of sensed my fear because he said I know you can’t eat alot but it is great way to give you a variety and see which ones you do like. SCORE this guy was a gem, he knew that I couldn’t eat much and it didn’t matter to him.

At The Weingarten with my Parents awesome night

At The Weingarten with my Parents awesome night

We spent probably and hour and half inside the restaurant just talking and getting to know each other and I did not want the night to end, so we went outside to the parking lot and stood out there for hours sharing you tube videos and talking and getting to know each other. At the end of the night we were both flirting so much I was praying I would kiss good night, but sadly my little Larry is a shy one and it did not end that way. Actually we have spent every day together since that first night and it took me three dates to get my kiss, and I had to ask for it lol One of our songs actually became Thompson Squares “Are you going to kiss me or not” because that is exactly what I said at the end of our third date lol.

The Love Of My Life Larry

The Love Of My Life Larry

The hardest part of dating Larry and learning how to be in a healthy relationship was that over the last four and half years I had become so independent that I had to let down my walls and let someone in. This was a man who LOVED to do things for me like honey do lists around my house, or opening my car door every-time we go anywhere. He was old fashioned and it was wonderful but it was so hard to give in and let go and allow someone to do for me for once. Another thing you should know about Larry is that he is OCD which honestly at first scared the hell out of me, he likes things organized and done a certain way. My house on the other hand was not dirty but it was disorganized and not in order simply because I worked two jobs and never had time. After we started dating for awhile he asked if I mined if he organized a few things in my house, my first initial reaction is NO!!! It is my house I like it the way it is, but I gave in. Giving in was the best decision ever, my house is organized and clean all the time I know where things are now, and I like putting things away right to make him feel good and it just makes life so much easier.

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My New Family

The hardest part of our relationship has been introducing each other to our kids. Larry has two amazing daughters and six grandkids that was a scary and daunting undertaking I was petrified to meet them especially since their Mother whom Larry had been married to for over twenty years had passed away. His one daughter lives in Washington and I have not had the pleasure of meeting her yet, but we talk often via phone, skype and text and I can relate to her in so many ways, we both had a really rough childhood. She welcomed me with open arms and has been the sweetest part of this relationship. Larry’s other daughter lives at a Air Force Base here in town, and he warmed me that she would be harded to warm up to. Simply because they are so close and that she is looking out for her Dad, and because she has two girls and she didn’t want them to meet me until we were serious. As a single Mother myself I could totally understand where she was coming from, you don’t want your daughters to fall in love with someone and POOF they are gone how do you explain that them. So I totally understood and respected where she was coming from, I remember the first time I met her Larry was out on the road he is truck driver and I had stopped at the Dollar store and found those corn on the cob holders there. Well Larry had mentioned he was wanting to get some of those for his daughter because she loved them, so I told him I picked those up for Sandra and he could give them to her when he got home. It was at this point he suggested that I stop by her work and drop them off, that this would be a good way to meet her. Was this man nuts? This was the one daughter he warned me would take awhile to warm up to me, and he wanted me to walk into her work unannounced and drop these off to her she would think I was crazy as he was. To say I was scared was an understatement but the initial meeting went really well, and before long we were spending our weekends with her family and kids and just having so much fun getting to know each other. Now I could not imagine my life without them in it, her husband is the funniest man I have met in awhile, her girls are so sweet and well behaved and loving. And then there is Sandra she is a strong woman who is so much like her father it is amazing to see them together.

11202084_10205480216939085_351361925980510267_n This man has taught me so much about myself, he is the most kind, generous, loving, man I have ever met. He loves me for WHO I am, he never ever tries to change me, he encourages me on my weight loss goals and my dreams and desires he is my other half. They say you just know when you meet the love of your life, and I knew from within the first hour I met him.

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About Angie

Single Mom of two girls on a journey to get healthy by losing weight and learning to love herself again!

Comments

  1. Can I just say how amazing you look! I know it’s been a while since I commented, but I have been following along (and on fb).

    You look so happy and I am so glad you found a guy like Larry that treats you so well x
    Fee recently posted…Homeward boundMy Profile

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