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Spitting Nails Or Throwing My TV Out The Window |

Spitting Nails or Throwing My TV Out The Window

TLC So last year I wrote a blog post about the series 600 pd life, and how scared I was to even sit down and watch this TV series. This is something I am not proud of especially because I have made online friends with two of the people featured in this show. But when I would see the previews for this show, the initial gut reaction was that I wanted to run and not watch the show. Sitting at home I remember trying to rationalize in my mind, well I am not that big and I would never get that big why do I want to watch that show? This thought process just shows you how sick our minds as an obese person has become. Because in all reality I was living in denial of course I could of gotten to 600 pds, I had completely 100% given up on myself and I simply just didn’t care if I woke up in the morning. At the point I started watching this series which was November 2013 I had turned my back completely on myself, and in reality I was killing myself with every morsel of food I was putting into my mouth.

So finally I pushed myself to watch an episode and I sat down one night while Torie was at work with a bag of popcorn and a fountain soda and sat down and watched an episode and the episode I watched was actually one of my friend’s stories Paula. Within moments I was in fetal position on my bed in tears crying for Paula and her struggles and her pain, but also crying for myself because it was like a mirror reflection of my struggles and pain. Even though Paula’s struggles were way worse than mine, we could relate on so many levels. Paula had lost her husband a year prior to obesity and now she was a single obese mom scared of dying and wanted to make some serious changes to get healthy and happy. As a single Mom to two girls myself it really hit home, yes my husband did not die, but on the same token he was an active alcoholic who was not there for my girls. This put me in the position of the sole parent and caregiver and what was I doing with life? Eating myself to death and doing nothing to get healthy for my girl’s sake.

So after watching Paula’s story and being so emotionally exhausted after watching the episode from crying a deep gut wrenching pain, I knew I had to record every episode of the show and watch them all. Paula was such an inspiration to me she took her a tragedy that happened to her and her kids, and she rose above and made the necessary changes to not only get happy for herself but also for her kids sake. Paula worked so hard and changed every aspect of her life, to overcome and become a new and healthier person. I could relate to Paula and I knew that I too could make the necessary changes to be a better and healthier parent to my girls. Last year I did a blog post about one participant named Penny who simply put infuriated me to no end. Why you may ask? Well it was because Penny was given the GIFT of having gastric bypass and she did absolutely NOTHING to change her ways or her lifestyle. In one years time she only lost 35 pds, why? Because she could manipulate her husband into sneaking out and getting her fast food, and food from the grocery store that was sugary and high calorie. Penny reminded me of a dictator who had her husband scared and wrapped around her finger. Penny would bark and her husband would come running in fear that he if didn’t grant any and all of Penny’s requests she would yell and berate him. Her husband was the very definition of a enabler by feeding and encouraging Penny’s disease of obesity. It was so bad that they kept Penny in the hospitial almost 3 months after her gastric bypass surgery because Penny has always been bed ridden and she had complications after surgery. But here is the amazing part Penny never lost weight during the time in the hospital after gastric bypass surgery. So I am sitting there racking my brain how is Penny gaining weight and not losing weight after a major surgery like gastric bypass? But then the doctor came on the screen and said they were discharging her because they had discovered she was having her husband sneaking in fast food, and snacks into Penny and that she obviously did not want change therefore they were releasing her to free up the space. During this episodes there was times of me screaming at my TV quotes like “Oh my god if I had been given that opportunity I wouldn’t throw it all away” and “Penny wake the F__K up you are sick and need help”.

The truth is as much as I wanted Penny to wake up and take advantage of the gift she had been given she was not ready to change her ways and make the serious changes it takes to eat completely different and move and exercise. As much as this episode pissed me off, it also was the switch that went off in my head where I went from wanting to make changes and doing nothing about it, to finally making the decision to meet with a surgeon and make some major changes. The only thing I knew was I did not want to be a “Penny” in my kids life. Penny had a young son whom she couldn’t spend time with when he came into her living room and hoped into her bed, because she was bedridden. At the end of the episode it says Penny never went back to the Dr’s office so they had no clue how big she was and it just scared me to death. Then tonight I came home and there was an update show on my online friend Tara and Penny’s update and I have to say my anger with Penny has only increased to be followed in the next blog post!

 

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About Angie

Single Mom of two girls on a journey to get healthy by losing weight and learning to love herself again!

Comments

  1. I seen this one and it does remind me that I have to stop the bad habits I have succumbed to here lately. I remember my prison all to well and I dont want to go back there. It does make you angry with her that she cant see that she can escape her prison she was handed the keys and yet she sits her cell demanding life treat her better and give her what she wants without putting effort and hard work into it. Thanks for the reminder now I am going to get off my butt and back into shoveling the tunnel from this fat prison I have called my life

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