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Spitting Nails Or Throwing My TV Out The Window Part 2 |

Spitting Nails or Throwing My TV Out The Window Part 2

Penny eating fried food in bed. So as stated in my last blog post I was watching a recent update on the second year after surgery on Penny, and I have to secretly admit I was praying Penny had changed and I would be crying tears of joy at her progress. Sadly that is not the case, it starts out with Penny in complete denial that she is unhealthy, she lies to the camera telling it that she is making big changes and eating healthy and doing it all on her own. But in the same breath you find out she has not been back to the Doctor’s and she has been completely bed ridden without even trying to get up and walk, and of course her eating habits haven’t changed. But to me the part of this update is when Dr. Nowzaradan would come and not sugar coat the situation and just simply say Penny manipulates everyone to get what she wants when she wants it. That Penny is so deep in denial and her food addiction that she probably will die in her bed in a short time.

That statement not only pissed me off, it made me incredibly sad. It instilled the inane instinct to want to reach through my TV Screen and just slap the hell out of Penny and say “You are killing yourself and you are going to leave your young son with a Mother”. But the reality is many counselors, and Doctors have tried numerous times to help Penny but she is in such a state of denial that nothing sinks in as much as we want it to. Watching this episode had me in whirlpool of emotions from being pissed at Penny, to having compassion and feeling like I was literally watching Penny die before my eyes.

In this episode you watch Penny in her denial blaming everyone including the doctor and his staff for the reason she didn’t lose weight. Her new obsession was now couponing where she made it an absolute chore for her husband to do simple grocery shopping. It was so painful to watch him trying to navigate the store and get what she wanted according to her coupons and instructions. The best way I can figure is Penny does not have control over own life, therefore she tries to control and manipulate her husband who willing gives in to her every demand. It is so sad because in reality he is literally killing her, he might as well put a gun to her head because that is essentially what he is doing to her. It is such a sad state of affairs watching their dysfunctional family life, and at the center of this is a innocent little boy that wants more than anything for a Mom to take him to the playground.

The saddest part was when she promised her son prior to Gastric Bypass that she would take him trick or treating for Halloween. It was such a struggle just for Penny to get dressed not to mention having to get her in her wheelchair just so she could see her son trick or treat. Through the whole episode she keeps talking about how she is working the program, and she is confident she is losing weight. But at the end of the episode it stated that Penny only gets out bed every two months, she eats, sleeps and goes to the bathroom in her own bed. Now that is sad enough but the killer to this is she hadn’t to live this way she had gastric bypass. If she had worked the program she would of been able to easily loose the weight, but until her mind catches up she will never be a success and that is the saddest part of this.

To give you a personal example of the level of her denial she was convinced by her medical staff that it might worth her while to do online counseling via Skype. Personally I was excited because there has to be a mental reason why she has gained the weight, and why she is choosing to do nothing about it. Whether we want to meet it or not ALL of use who are obese have all gotten to our weights because we haven’t dealt with an issue or issues in our lives and it has manifested itself with us gaining weight and eating ourselves to death. Unfortunately when Penny sat down via Skype she tried to tell the counselor she only weighed 400 pds and had lost 40 pds and she was eating healthy and doing good. The truth more than likely is that she is probably still at 600 pounds if not more, but we wouldn’t know because she refuses to get weighed or seen by a doctor. But what I loved about this counselor is prior to Penny telling her story about her wonderful weight loss and how she is doing all the hard work, the counselor told her straight up this is going to be a no bullshit therapy session. You tell me the truth and I will tell you the brutal truth, and after Penny told her story the counselor called her out in it. But Penny being in her constant state of denial of course wasn’t have any of it.

Now as pissed as I am Penny, please understand I am writing this blog post with mixed emotions. Half of me completely understands the denial hell I lived in it for over 20 years and sometimes due to all the changes I lose sight on that. But the other side of me just wants to shake her up and say Penny you have to do this for your son, for you, for your husband. And if I am being honest I cannot tell you how many of friends would DIE for the opportunity for weight loss surgery, and for one reason or another have been denied usually due to insurance reasons. So when I see someone who has unbelievable support from her Doctor and his medical staff and she has the gastric bypass and then does NOTHING to change it honestly just pisses me off. This was a gift that god wrapped up for her in a big pink bow, and it feels like she just spit on the gift and said I can do it on my own. Which has proved to be fruitless.

So as I end this blog post let me say this, I want nothing more than Penny to get well, to find her inner peace and happiness. And eventually to get the help she so deserves, and be the Mom I know she wants to be. But unfortunalty I fear that we will reading soon that they found her dead in her bed, and that fear just breaks my heart and saddens me to no end. As any of my friends I am VERY vocal about my surgery, my struggles and I do this for ONE reason. I want to reach as many people as possible that are sitting at home at this very moment in deep despair thinking that they will never be able to break free of the chains of obesity. My goal in my NEW life is to be a inspiriation to everyone who is obese and be a friend and shining light to them, because I want them to know there is hope and that I am there and I understand their struggles. And I must admit that when I see an episode like Penny’s it just shines the light brightly on my own prior life and how I honestly could of easily of been Penny’s story. Maybe that is why this story has touched me so hard and just makes me want to reach out and help her, but the truth is no one can help Penny but Penny herself.

 

 

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About Angie

Single Mom of two girls on a journey to get healthy by losing weight and learning to love herself again!

Comments

  1. Hey Angie! I downgraded my cable and TLC was one of the channels that I no longer have so I haven’t been able to watch this show lately. Thanks for writing this. I hope Penny gets it sooner that later. So true, she is the only person that can help herself. So sad!

  2. We don’t have that show here but this woman reminds me of a show that was on once called my half ton son. It was a 15 year old boy who was bed ridden due to weight. What struck me was his mother would bring him two large big mac meals from McDonald’s for lunch every day and a KFC family bucket for dinner. She was killing her child. Her excuse was that he would be mad if she didn’t and I couldn’t help but think if he can’t get up then he has no choice but to eat what you bring and i am damn sure he wouldn’t starve himself! I always said I would never get to hat weight and then one day I was 329lbs. . I have failed so many times but this time it feels like I am finally ready to actually do it!
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