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Reflecting On One Year Of Weight Loss |

Reflecting on One Year Of Weight Loss

152014 So this week it was a year since I started my weight loss journey and as I put on my socks this morning with no problem I realized that the more things have become easy for me to do the harder it was to remember the things I couldn’t do prior to surgery. So it got me thinking that my blog is a great way to help me remember all the pain I was in both emotionally and physically. Also to remind me of all those everyday things we take for granted that were so difficult for me to accomplish on a daily basis.

As I reflect back it is really to think that just walking across the street to the mailbox would put me so out of breath that I would have to wait at the mailbox pretending to read my mail, while I was really catching my breath in order to walk back to my house. Putting on my socks and tennis shoes sounds easy enough but the problem was my stomach was so large that I could barely bend my leg in the right position to get my socks and shoes on. This always was a chore that could take me upwards of ten minutes to complete and even tieing my shoes was difficult because my feet were so swollen that it did not leave me with much shoe lace to tie with.

Sleeping at night was the scariest part of the day for me, I have sleep apnea so I have to sleep with a breathing machine. But there were months where I was worried the settings were not correct because I would wake up in the middle night gasping for breath, and I had known people to die or have a heart attack and die to sleep apnea. There were  many nights I would pray to God before bed that he allow me to wake up in the morning.

When you were as large as I was doing a simple task as going to the bathroom was even a chore. With my stomach as large as it was it became difficult to wipe and keep yourself clean. Something as simple as just trying to go to the bathroom was a monumental task that of course we have to complete several times a day, that would leave me gasping for breath and sweating every time.

Going shopping at any store but especially the Mall or Wal-mart were almost impossible to me as I would be so out of breath and sweating sometimes I feared I would have a heart attack right inside the store in front of my own children. Now the irony is that now I work at Wal-mart the store that was once my nemesis and I run around that store all day never once sweating or out of breath it is simply amazing. Here is a quote from one year ago in my very first blog post.

And the more I have thought about this today I have decided since I have to start working out now, and with my weight I cannot do much at this point. I figured I could work on two of my goals at the same time and start walking at the Mall. Oh Lord just me typing those words has my heart racing and my blood boiling from being scared! But I DON’T CARE! lol I have to overcome my fears, I am so tired of being ALONE, and SCARED.

So as I enjoy my new body and the fact that I now have very limitations in my life, I feel it is also important to never forget the pain and suffering I went through for over 20 years so that I never allow myself to go back to that dark and depressing state.


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About Angie

Single Mom of two girls on a journey to get healthy by losing weight and learning to love herself again!

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